When I was growing up, my mom would take me to get my haircut, just like any other parent. The problem was, she took me to the same barber shop for about 10 years. Now, this barber shop was in Chinatown, and if you're Asian, you already know where this is heading... I had a bowl haircut and short hair until I was old enough to throw a huge fit about it. Ever since, I've had long, straight, black Asian hair and I promised I wouldn't cut my hair short again. Btw, I was NEVER allowed to dye it. The thought wouldn't even cross my mind because I already knew the answer would be no, and I was no rebel at the time.
For a huge part of my life, I've associated long hair with beauty. Girls with long hair were always more attractive and were deemed "better". As I grew up, I attached this notion to myself, and I could not bring myself to chop off my hair. It was as if the hair was my only defiance of beauty, and without it I'd be lost.As I continue on this journey of learning to live with my anxiety and accepting who I am, I've come to notice how much it bothered me that I've never tried to cut my hair short. One day the thought came into my mind, and it wouldn't leave. It was like a roach infesting a cabinet, except it was an idea that I thought about over and over, day in and day out. It would just irritate me knowing I let myself think so lowly of, well, myself. To think that I was only beautiful because I had long hair. And for the first time in my life, I had the biggest urge to chop it all off. And I did... the next day.... by myself... in my restroom... 12 inches. All gone.
Fast forward 6 months. I'm now sitting here typing this out, and I don't regret cutting it off, but I do miss it. I miss the flowy-ness, the curls, the built in scarf for the winter and cold nights, and the way it goes up in a bun so easily. But for now, I'm embracing the short hair. It feels good. So freaking good to let go of that which was holding me back. I feel like a brand new person, and somehow doing this simple act has taught me so much about life and myself. I don't need anything or anyone to know I'm beautiful because I know deep down in my heart I have a kind & beautiful soul, and at the end of the day, that is all that matters. Looks will fade, hair will go gray, bones will get weak, but our souls will forever leave a mark on the people we interact with. Life is so much more than the length on my hair and I feel so lucky to be one of those people out there to not let it define who I am.
CHERRY HAND PIES RECIPE
for the pie dough
- 2 cups AP flour
- 1/2 tsp. salt
- 3/4 tsp. baking powder
- 1 tbsp. granulated sugar
- 2 sticks of unsalted butter (cut into cubes & kept cold)
- 1/2 greek yogurt
for the cherry filling
- 2 1/2 cups of fresh black cherries (pitted)
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 1 1/2 tbsp. cornstarch
- Juices of 2 limes
for the top/brushing
- 1 egg (beaten)
- Turbiando sugar
for the pie dough
- In a large bowl, mix together the flour, salt, sugar, & baking powder.
- Add the cold unsalted butter & with your hands, work it into the flour until it resembles a course meal (the butter should look like tiny little peas & each piece should be coated with flour).
- With a spatula, mix in the greek yogurt until a dough forms.
- Turn the dough onto a floured surface & knead it a couple times to bring it together.
- Roll out the dough into a rectangle & fold it in threes, first folding in the left, then the right.
- Flip the dough so the seams are facing down & repeat rolling & folding.
- Wrap the dough & chill for at least 1 hour.
for the cherry filling
- Put all the ingredients together in a sauce pan on med-low heat.
- Cook for 8-10mins, stirring often so the sides of the pan don't burn.
- Transfer to a bowl to cool to room temp.
- Preheat oven to 425°F.
- Roll out the dough & cut 16 mini rectangles.
- On 8 of the rectangles, make three small slashes with a knife.
- On the other 8, scoop ~2 tbsp. of cherry filling on leaving a 1/4 inch boarder.
- With a brush, brush water along the boarders.
- Lay the 8 tops on top, and using a fork, press the seams together.
- Transfer the pies to a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
- Brush the beaten egg evenly on top of the pies & sprinkle on the sugar (as much as you want baby! The more the merrier!!!).
- Bake for 20 mins or until the pies look golden brown.
BTW I made these with strawberries, blueberries, peaches & apricots, and they are just as delicious! Hope you give them a try and love it too!